at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
