Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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