If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
