So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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