Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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