have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
