it hurts more in the daytime
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
