She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
