I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
