I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I look better un-naked...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
