I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
