Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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