Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
operation have a gay friend backfired
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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