we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
