i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
