can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
