I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
