I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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