Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
