so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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