Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
