honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
