He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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