All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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