What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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