At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
