Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
