Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
