Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Randomize
