were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
