Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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