if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
