She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
