I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
