i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
