I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
