It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Come on in and take your pants off
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