you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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