How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
