these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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