i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
