Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
