i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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