ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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