my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
