I just pynch a tree in the face
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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