I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
wow bdsm is so cute
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
