I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
