you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
