I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
