I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
