I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
