Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
